tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7562529066027046102.post4214766512258448771..comments2023-10-03T12:22:01.476-04:00Comments on Sobermomat53: Day 115 - Blown off!!Sober at 53http://www.blogger.com/profile/01854891164320066847noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7562529066027046102.post-71504383392832456782016-06-03T22:10:08.272-04:002016-06-03T22:10:08.272-04:00Thank you all for your lovely comments and your gr...Thank you all for your lovely comments and your great ideas. My friend actually called me last night because she was upset and need to talk! Hooray!!! I ended up telling her how I missed her and she didn't even realize. I'm glad I told her. I'm glad she knows. We will see how things go from here! Again, thank you so much!!! I really appreciated every word!! xoSober at 53https://www.blogger.com/profile/01854891164320066847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7562529066027046102.post-2848893859873912362016-06-03T16:58:17.926-04:002016-06-03T16:58:17.926-04:00Dear SoberMomat 53,
That would be very hard.
I too...Dear SoberMomat 53,<br />That would be very hard.<br />I too lost a drinking buddy.<br />I hope she finds her way back to you, because you sure could help her, just by listening.<br />I wish you a good day today.<br />xo<br />WendyUntipsyteacherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14975521042875808241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7562529066027046102.post-16025256980105165252016-06-02T16:58:54.368-04:002016-06-02T16:58:54.368-04:00Oh I'm so sorry. You have been a really good ...Oh I'm so sorry. You have been a really good friend to her. I'm wondering if it might be something else that is preventing her from calling you and not her disinterest in continuing the friendship? Maybe something happened in her life that she isn't ready to talk about yet. Reach out and let her know you are there when she is ready. Big hugs to you my friend. XOXORipleybellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08484735194209368209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7562529066027046102.post-7763860772689452012016-06-02T16:10:45.230-04:002016-06-02T16:10:45.230-04:00It sounds like she needs some time to deal with he...It sounds like she needs some time to deal with her issues and right now you remind her of them. Your success is probably daunting. It sounds like your friendship is strong. I echo SoberMummy's idea on how to keep the door open and maybe find new things to do together. Keep making those phone calls from time to time just to check in.HabitDonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15185750276731609856noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7562529066027046102.post-13379410576567295432016-06-02T14:23:00.690-04:002016-06-02T14:23:00.690-04:00Echoing what everyone else has said, I hope this i...Echoing what everyone else has said, I hope this is just a hiatus while she processes the changes that have occurred - which is MASSIVE. Don't write the friendship off yet it may take a little time but hopefully she will come around both to the friendship and the AF status. Incidentally my therapist took a similar stance re solve your problems and then you will have no desire to drink. I think that works up to a point but I wasn't prepared to wait until that happened so stopped drinking of my own choice.Groundhog Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00896347749384197279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7562529066027046102.post-75854266619267824922016-06-02T10:22:00.551-04:002016-06-02T10:22:00.551-04:00I am so sorry. That is a big loss. I hope everythi...I am so sorry. That is a big loss. I hope everything will work out with time. Maybe the closeness you have just needs to hibernate for a while and will re-emerge stronger when the time is right. Sending much love your way.CrawlingWalkingDancinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16838140012726909732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7562529066027046102.post-1930951159407152132016-06-02T06:46:17.467-04:002016-06-02T06:46:17.467-04:00I think she will come back. Perhaps this is part o...I think she will come back. Perhaps this is part of the adjustment. Your friendship has changed, but maybe for the better. Maybe she just needs to process it all. You have what she wants. She will get there too, it might just take a while. I hope it all works out ok. Thinking of you!Putting Down The Glasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02966704674825831278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7562529066027046102.post-8903760173207540162016-06-02T05:02:08.307-04:002016-06-02T05:02:08.307-04:00Oh you poor thing!
I agree with the comments abo...Oh you poor thing! <br /><br />I agree with the comments above. Let her know that you're still there, and she will come back when she gets her own demons under control. Being sober together is AS bonding an experience as being drunk together :-)<br /><br />In the meantime, is there anything you can do together during the day? I know she has a big job, but weekends? Exercise based, maybe? Or with the kids? That'll keep the door open until she's ready....<br /><br />Hugs xxx<br />SoberMummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09149651295183331661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7562529066027046102.post-83056577173437603722016-06-02T03:18:48.450-04:002016-06-02T03:18:48.450-04:00'Let' her know (typing on my phone!)'Let' her know (typing on my phone!)Angiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07553400229726508527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7562529066027046102.post-31809479662070548732016-06-02T03:17:48.812-04:002016-06-02T03:17:48.812-04:00I'm sorry this has happened. Maybe she just ne...I'm sorry this has happened. Maybe she just needs time and a bit of space to sort things out? Maybe she is going through s hard time with her own drinking? Either way, all you can do is key her know that you are there for her. Hopefully she will realise that the friendship is too important to let go? Good luck. And congrats on 115 days! So awesome! A xAngiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07553400229726508527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7562529066027046102.post-25465800145886743862016-06-02T02:10:58.129-04:002016-06-02T02:10:58.129-04:00Just some further thoughts...kudos to you for tryi...Just some further thoughts...kudos to you for trying to hang in there and avoiding preaching, etc. Not everyone could do that. <br /><br />And not everyone is the sort who can really, truly commit to friendship. I'm always amazed to come across people who can just X others out of their life....but, it sure does happen. Northwoman1996https://www.blogger.com/profile/09855277712359787495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7562529066027046102.post-45139031725878878392016-06-02T02:04:55.925-04:002016-06-02T02:04:55.925-04:00Loss is loss. It's going to hurt, S@53! Any yo...Loss is loss. It's going to hurt, S@53! Any you will have to grieve the loss. I'm so sorry. And she's been going through loss as well, of course. And a lot of other emotions to boot - guilt, envy, who knows what all. I'm sure your friendship WAS built on a lot more than drinking, Was a REAL bedrock friendship. And down the line, maybe that can emerge again. <br /><br />I feel that you've gained the strength, through these past 115 days (yaaaay!), that you can let this rock you...but not change the path you're on. You have to do whats right for you....perhaps you'll be the catalyst for her to eventually find the strength to do what's best for her. I hope so. <br /><br />Separately, I've been thinking about this 'figuring out WHY we drink' approach, partly spurred by something read somewhere else. And I had the 'horse/cart' thought. The 'cart' is all the baggage that might go into fueling our drinking to begin with...but the 'horse' is the drinking itself, out of control, galloping through our life, destroying things in its path. <br /><br />Figuring out what's in the cart is all well and good. But first things first: we gotta get that damned horse under control, no matter what. Then, the cart can be sorted -- and in far better fashion with crystal clear, a/f thinking. <br /><br />Northwoman1996https://www.blogger.com/profile/09855277712359787495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7562529066027046102.post-90715060513556776852016-06-02T01:50:34.654-04:002016-06-02T01:50:34.654-04:00Hi Sober@53. That's sure a sad story. I'd ...Hi Sober@53. That's sure a sad story. I'd feel low too. It does sound like a real, long-term friendship though, and there's lots of hope that it will work out in time. I don't see losing the relationship as a consequence of you not drinking. But it might need time for you both to find new ways to hang out together. My mother-in-law gives brilliant advice, and I know she would say that if you keep calling her once in a while and stay available, you'll leave an opening for things to work out when they can, and you'll be available for your friend if she joins you in being sober, as it sounds like she very much wants to do. My heart goes out to you on this. Take care xoAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08288935120774241198noreply@blogger.com