Day 170 - Clean Colon!

July 23, 2016
Day 170
Hello!

One of my greatest fears when I was drinking was that I was screwing up my body.  Especially my colon. I was convinced that my drinking gave me colon cancer.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 41 years old.  2 different kinds of invasive breast cancer, one in each breast.  I had 2 surgeries, 8 rounds of chemo, and 6 weeks of radiation.  I took tamoxifen for 5 years, had a 2 year drug free holiday, and now have taken arimidex for 4 years.  My chemo put me in full blown menopause at the age of 42.  My body made cancer.  At the time of my diagnosis, I was a normal drinker....so I thought.  I remember having a glass or two of wine in the middle of my two weeks between chemo treatments...who does that?  In looking back, I realize that that was probably the start of my drinking problems!  I couldn't even abstain during chemo!  Most people are sick..but no, not me...I made sure that I had my wine (all cleared with oncologist of course, but she probably didn't know how much I "really" had!).

Since I was considered a young women at diagnosis, that was pre menopausal, especially whose body made 2 different kinds of invasive cancers at the same time in two different breasts, I was considered an anomaly. Therefore, they did a lot of extra testing.  They made me switch my gyn to the cancer center.  At my 5 year cancer free mark, the gyn required me to have a colonoscopy.  All was clear.

Anyway, fast forward 5 years.  I constantly found myself worrying about my drinking causing me colon cancer.  After all, my body made cancer.  I drank more than the recommended weekly amount for women....almost every day!!!    It was a part of my body that I couldn't see.  Sometimes I had lower left stomach pains.  Sometimes my stool wasn't right (I know, TMI).  I really needed /wanted another colonoscopy to make sure that my drinking wasn't hurting my innards.  I asked my gyn at the cancer center for another one.  The new protocol is 10 years for your next colonoscopy if the previous one was clear.  There was no way I could wait 5 more years...no way!  I needed this for my mental being. Yet, I couldn't tell the gyn why.  I was too embarrassed.  So, I made up a problem.  (I know, very bad!  Who in their right mind wants a colonoscopy?  The prep is awful!)    Well, yesterday I had that colonoscopy!  and guess what?  ALL WAS CLEAR!  I stopped drinking in time!  I was so worried that there would be something wrong related to my years of drinking!  I feel like a HUGE weight was lifted off my shoulders.  I feel like I can really see the sober path in front of me.  I don't have that nagging thought in my head every day that I gave myself colon cancer.

Now, I wouldn't recommend asking for a colonoscopy if you don't need one.  I was really positive that because my body had already made cancer, and then I beat it up with wine, that I really had colon cancer.  I know it's a psycho thing...but I had these thoughts while I was drinking and because I convinced myself of it, they remained when I quit.

Now, I am so utterly happy.  I know things can still happen.  But, I know that I stopped drinking in time so that I did not give myself colon cancer.

Love,
Sober at 53