Saturday, July 23, 2016

Day 170 - Clean Colon!

July 23, 2016
Day 170

One of my greatest fears when I was drinking was that I was screwing up my body.  Especially my colon. I was convinced that my drinking gave me colon cancer.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 41 years old.  2 different kinds of invasive breast cancer, one in each breast.  I had 2 surgeries, 8 rounds of chemo, and 6 weeks of radiation.  I took tamoxifen for 5 years, had a 2 year drug free holiday, and now have taken arimidex for 4 years.  My chemo put me in full blown menopause at the age of 42.  My body made cancer.  At the time of my diagnosis, I was a normal I thought.  I remember having a glass or two of wine in the middle of my two weeks between chemo treatments...who does that?  In looking back, I realize that that was probably the start of my drinking problems!  I couldn't even abstain during chemo!  Most people are sick..but no, not me...I made sure that I had my wine (all cleared with oncologist of course, but she probably didn't know how much I "really" had!).

Since I was considered a young women at diagnosis, that was pre menopausal, especially whose body made 2 different kinds of invasive cancers at the same time in two different breasts, I was considered an anomaly. Therefore, they did a lot of extra testing.  They made me switch my gyn to the cancer center.  At my 5 year cancer free mark, the gyn required me to have a colonoscopy.  All was clear.

Anyway, fast forward 5 years.  I constantly found myself worrying about my drinking causing me colon cancer.  After all, my body made cancer.  I drank more than the recommended weekly amount for women....almost every day!!!    It was a part of my body that I couldn't see.  Sometimes I had lower left stomach pains.  Sometimes my stool wasn't right (I know, TMI).  I really needed /wanted another colonoscopy to make sure that my drinking wasn't hurting my innards.  I asked my gyn at the cancer center for another one.  The new protocol is 10 years for your next colonoscopy if the previous one was clear.  There was no way I could wait 5 more way!  I needed this for my mental being. Yet, I couldn't tell the gyn why.  I was too embarrassed.  So, I made up a problem.  (I know, very bad!  Who in their right mind wants a colonoscopy?  The prep is awful!)    Well, yesterday I had that colonoscopy!  and guess what?  ALL WAS CLEAR!  I stopped drinking in time!  I was so worried that there would be something wrong related to my years of drinking!  I feel like a HUGE weight was lifted off my shoulders.  I feel like I can really see the sober path in front of me.  I don't have that nagging thought in my head every day that I gave myself colon cancer.

Now, I wouldn't recommend asking for a colonoscopy if you don't need one.  I was really positive that because my body had already made cancer, and then I beat it up with wine, that I really had colon cancer.  I know it's a psycho thing...but I had these thoughts while I was drinking and because I convinced myself of it, they remained when I quit.

Now, I am so utterly happy.  I know things can still happen.  But, I know that I stopped drinking in time so that I did not give myself colon cancer.

Sober at 53


  1. What a relief! Sometimes you just need to know. I understand that worry that I did damage to myself while drinking! So glad all was clear! Hugs!

  2. Such happy news! Definitely worth the effort for the peace of mind. Letting that worry go must be wonderfully free-ing.

  3. What an ordeal you had yo go through, originally. But you did it!
    And now, you are doing something else remarkable.....for 170 days!!
    So very glad you have some renewed peace of mind.... I'm sure it feels like a 40-pound weight was just lifted. Congrats!!

  4. I am sure you are so relieved, I am very happ this is such a huge weight off your mind. And you oh so close to six months, wow.

  5. Great news, it must be a relief for you to know all is good. You are healthy and stating that way! All my obsessing about my health has stopped because I don't feel sick anymore. PDTG x

  6. Yay! I know how overwhelming that cancer fear can be, and how scary the tests can be, and how ghastly the colonoscopy prep is, so HURRAH HURRAH and HUGS!!!

  7. I totally understand your concern and I'm thrilled you have the all clear. You have stopped drinking and your body is healthy. Xxx

  8. Dear Sobermomat53,
    I am so happy for you!
    Now you can rest this worry.

  9. That's great news Sobermomat53. You must feel so relieved. Now you can let that worry go. You are doing so well. Congrats on day 170! A x

  10. Yay!
    I had a endoscopy and colonoscopy in 2013 and I drank later that one does that who doesn't have a serious problem.

    I quit the next week.

    Turns out I have celiac disease. Which explained all the weird booze stomach issues and then some! Lol

    Sober is so much simpler. I know when I am abusing my body now. I try hard not to,