Monday, July 18, 2016

Day 165 - Too Complacent!

July 18, 2016
Day 165
Hello!
It's been a month since I've written a blog post.  I think I got to a point where I just didn't have anything else to say about not drinking.  (I am still reading and commenting though!) I am also at a point where trying not to drink is not so hard anymore.  It doesn't occupy my every waking moment.  I am not spending all of my time trying to quit!  In fact, it's gotten pretty easy.  I do like my AF beer though!

 I had a lot going on this last month.  I was away for a week...part of it in Disney..and if you can make it thru Disneyworld without drinking, I think you've got a really good shot at permanent sobriety!  hahaha

My sister and her family live in Sydney, Australia and they stayed with us for the last 2 weeks.  1st week we were away with them.  It was such a wonderful time.  And, I didn't miss drinking.  Even though I was around it every night.

But.....on the night before my sister was returning home, we had a farewell party at my house.  I honestly never thought about getting booze.  It didn't cross my mind!  But, many of the other guests drink.  So, due to circumstances, it was up to me to go to the bottle shop (I am now officially calling a liquor store a "bottle shop" as my Aussie sister told me that is what it is called in Australia!  I think it sounds much classier than "liquor store!")  This was my first foray into my old stomping grounds.  I got my cart and walked in and was overcome with extreme sadness.  It was palpable.  Tears welled up in my eyes and I stopped, looked down the wine aisle and breathed a heavy sigh.  I had to get white and red wine.  White was no problem since I never touched it.  But the red...the sweet, sweet red...(sigh) oh how I have missed you!  I decided to get bottles that I was not familiar with.  Somehow it made it easier for me.   I hightailed it out of the wine aisle and went to the beer refrigerator.  That part was easy.  It took me a moment to collect my thoughts when I got back in my car.   I had no desire to drink, but I was so sad that I couldn't...because I abused it.

My point in this post is that I thought everything was going great and that I was in a really good place.  But, I was too complacent.  (dictionary.com definition of complacent:  1. pleased, especially with oneself or one's merits, advantages, situation, etc., often without awareness of some potential danger or defect; self-satisfied.  I thought I was over the whole "drinking thing."  But then BAM!  It hit me like a brick wall when I walked into that bottle shop.  So my warning is...be in a good place...but never get too complacent!  I will not forget this experience.  It happened 4 days ago and I'm still thinking about it!  No more complacency for Sober at 53!

Don't get too complacent!!!

Love,
Sober at 53

7 comments:

  1. Great to read your post! Wonderful reminder about complacency. I had a dinner out last night with friends, first "out to dinner" night with no drinking other than with hubby. Funny thing was she didn't drink at all and just our hubbies did. I thought it would be a huge deal that I just had water but it wasn't. Odd.

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  2. Welcome back! Was a little worried about you - but not too much so, as I saw your comments at SM, etc. I'm glad to hear you've started feeling over the hump' (first part of your post)...and the second half, re 'complacency' - well, reminders are good, yes? Just to keep us on track.

    Isn't there a country song about 'wishful drinking?' For us, I guess the lyric could be 'wistful (about) drinking'.

    Keep it up, sobermom! You're doing great!

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  3. Ah complacency lurks around many corners and pounces when you least expect. My sister visited and I had Prosecco for her, didn't bother me at all but then when we went to the beach and everyone was drinking on the promenade I felt overwhelmed with sadness and never again. Each time something like this happens now I just think ok I know this feeling is temporary and if I just let it be it will go. I love that you got unfamiliar wine, that was a stroke of genius.

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  4. Yes, I can understand going to the bottle shop (also us Aussies call it the Bottle-o) would have been hard. I think that's what hapless homesteader said about being careful of people, places and things that are a trigger. I have been once during the last 12 weeks and I to got a bottle is never had before. Congratulations on day 165!

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  5. Dear SM,
    I am so glad to hear from you again!
    Those feelings will diminish slowly, and you will be able to blow them away, with no tears.
    You are doing really well!
    xo
    Wendy

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  6. Great to read your post! Complacency is one of my worries but as long as we are thinking about it, then we are not getting too complacent. I had to go up with wine aisle last week for my mum. I almost ran up it, got what I wanted and moved on, all the time I hadn't realised I was holding my breath hahahaha.

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    Replies
    1. I'm also pleased you are feeling more positive. Xxx

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