Friday, March 17, 2017

13 months - The novelty has worn off!

March 17, 2017
St. Patrick's Day

It's funny because I spent the entire last year, trying to get to a sober one year anniversary!  Proud to say I did and it was a HUGE accomplishment for me!  But now?  The novelty has worn off!  No exciting goal to reach.  I am sad.  I am sad that I don't drink any more.  I don't have any cravings or anything, but I'm sad that I can't have a drink.  I feel like I am in a different place then I was just one month ago when I reached my year soberversary.  I would love to have a beer today for St. patrick's Day..and I wasn't even a beer drinker!  Tomorrow night Mr. Soberat53 and I are kid free.  We will end up at a nice restaurant and I know I will be sad that I can't drink.  It felt different if we did this before I reached a year sober.  With that one year goal on the horizon, it made me so proud of myself to be able to say no to the wine.  And I wasn't sad.  But now I am.  Not about anything else in my life, except for that.  The not drinking is so anti climatic now.  I am just a sober person.  It's just not sexy any more!  I haven't been bothered by Mr. Soberat53's wine drinking in quite some time, but now it pisses me off!

I won't drink.  I know that.  But, I honestly thought that I would be so "over it" when I got to a year sober.  Obviously, that is NOT the case.  That one year sober milestone is just HUGE.  I guess I will have to come up with some other goal..maybe not drinking related to light my fire.

Anybody else ever feel this way?

With non drinking sadness,

Sober at 53


  1. I have never made it to a year, so I don't know, but I have had this sort of thing happen at 100 days. That was my goal, I completed it and then it was over. Hopefully it's just a stage and maybe it's helpful to look back to why you wanted to stop in the first place. To try and remember how you felt back then, compared with your life now. Xx

  2. The very same thing happened to my friend when she passed the one year mark. She just kept saying how bored and boring she felt and what was it all for. However I do think this is just the initial anticlimax as she is 3 weeks shy of her second anniversary and still going strong and happy. Hang in there it is just a stage. I am on day 301 so this is a timely reminder that 365 is a milestone rather than a destination. I hope it gets better soon. Big hug.

  3. Change can be very emotional. Sometimes we create an expectation in our head and when it isn't realized we are disappointed. Even if there is really nothing to be disappointed about.
    And that's ok. We grieve a bit for what might have been and we resolve to find our contentment with what is.

    The Tao te Ching really speaks to me at times like this. Cultivating joy in ordinary life is truly the secret to happiness.

    I have been sober for over 3 years. I've had ups and downs. But even a down day sober is better than how dismal I fro right before I quit. That was an experience I hope I never repeat.


  4. oh thats a shame, poor you. i can relate. over the last 5 years i have been mostly a non drinker but every 4/5 months have big blowouts and drink again...the last time about a month ago was so awful and depressing and made me feel so emotionally ill that i am so relieved to be AF again. I am reading alcohol explained by william porter and really enjoying. you may need to just up your sober supports and give yourself a new focus. i think what you're going thru is natural...i hope you feel good again sooon xx

  5. Dear Sobermom53,
    Yes, I have felt sad I can't/don't drink anymore.
    It doesn't happen very often anymore, or last for very long.

    I think it's a common feeling.
    It is a grieving, as Anne said.
    I found that I had to grieve about this, knowing that the feelings pop up once in awhile.
    Like grieving over a loved one passing, the feelings pop up now and then.

    I don't ever want to drink again, as my life really is so much better.
    I am working on continuing looking for other cool things to do, classes to take, connections to make with people that really fill my soul.


  6. I totally understand how you feel and I've never gotten past day 60. There are days I really grieve what could have been but I also know it never would have been. It's been a month since you posted this. Hope you are doing well!

  7. I'm just starting my journey, again, to be alcohol free, four days with no drink and tonight's Friday, which will be a real test. But that aside, I hope you are okay, no matter what may have happened in the last couple months.

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