March 17, 2017
St. Patrick's Day
It's funny because I spent the entire last year, trying to get to a sober one year anniversary! Proud to say I did and it was a HUGE accomplishment for me! But now? The novelty has worn off! No exciting goal to reach. I am sad. I am sad that I don't drink any more. I don't have any cravings or anything, but I'm sad that I can't have a drink. I feel like I am in a different place then I was just one month ago when I reached my year soberversary. I would love to have a beer today for St. patrick's Day..and I wasn't even a beer drinker! Tomorrow night Mr. Soberat53 and I are kid free. We will end up at a nice restaurant and I know I will be sad that I can't drink. It felt different if we did this before I reached a year sober. With that one year goal on the horizon, it made me so proud of myself to be able to say no to the wine. And I wasn't sad. But now I am. Not about anything else in my life, except for that. The not drinking is so anti climatic now. I am just a sober person. It's just not sexy any more! I haven't been bothered by Mr. Soberat53's wine drinking in quite some time, but now it pisses me off!
I won't drink. I know that. But, I honestly thought that I would be so "over it" when I got to a year sober. Obviously, that is NOT the case. That one year sober milestone is just HUGE. I guess I will have to come up with some other goal..maybe not drinking related to light my fire.
Anybody else ever feel this way?
With non drinking sadness,
Sober at 53