March 17, 2017
St. Patrick's Day
Hello!
It's funny because I spent the entire last year, trying to get to a sober one year anniversary! Proud to say I did and it was a HUGE accomplishment for me! But now? The novelty has worn off! No exciting goal to reach. I am sad. I am sad that I don't drink any more. I don't have any cravings or anything, but I'm sad that I can't have a drink. I feel like I am in a different place then I was just one month ago when I reached my year soberversary. I would love to have a beer today for St. patrick's Day..and I wasn't even a beer drinker! Tomorrow night Mr. Soberat53 and I are kid free. We will end up at a nice restaurant and I know I will be sad that I can't drink. It felt different if we did this before I reached a year sober. With that one year goal on the horizon, it made me so proud of myself to be able to say no to the wine. And I wasn't sad. But now I am. Not about anything else in my life, except for that. The not drinking is so anti climatic now. I am just a sober person. It's just not sexy any more! I haven't been bothered by Mr. Soberat53's wine drinking in quite some time, but now it pisses me off!
I won't drink. I know that. But, I honestly thought that I would be so "over it" when I got to a year sober. Obviously, that is NOT the case. That one year sober milestone is just HUGE. I guess I will have to come up with some other goal..maybe not drinking related to light my fire.
Anybody else ever feel this way?
With non drinking sadness,
Sober at 53
Friday, March 17, 2017
Monday, February 6, 2017
ONE YEAR SOBER!!!!!
February 7, 2017
Hello!
ONE YEAR!!!! I can't believe it! Today is my one year soberversary! I had to wait an extra day because last year was a leap year! 366 + bottles of wine that I did not drink!!! Wow!
I never thought I could get to this point...never! I went back and read my blog from start to this point. It made me think of all of my "firsts" this past year.
My very first 2nd day AF, my first Friday, my first weekend, my first time going out sober, my first summer, my first time being a sober wife and mother, my first vacation, my first time figuring out a problem without wine, my first time being fully present in a moment, my first birthday without wine, my first holiday season, my first time dealing with grief without a drink, my first argument, my first time making love without wine, my first time being a good friend, my first time liking myself, my first time dealing with my issues without wine, my first time being truly happy.
You can see there are both bad and good "firsts." Of course these are the "firsts" that culminated after 10 + years of drinking! I am so much happier. I am so proud of myself, because, honestly, I never thought I could quit. (I know, I'm being repetitive).
I started this journey because I wanted to lose weight...and that was my "google"...quitting wine and weight loss...it led me to an article by Julian Kirkman-Page, which led me to his book "I don't drink" which was my inspiration. That book caused me to further google and I found Sobermummy...which I attribute to me sticking with it. If her blog were a book...(and it will be soon!) it would be dog eared. Her blog led me to many other blogs that really inspired me. Mrs. D is going without, Un-Tipsy Teacher, Ainsobriety just to name a few. And many of the commenters helped me a lot as well! NorthWoman 1996, GG, Ripleybelle, Angie, HabitDone....You have all inspired me and I wish I could give you each a huge hug. (And just for the record, I didn't lose ANY weight....that is, until I changed my eating habits...it took me 7 months to do that and I am down 15 lbs. But it was work!)
My life is so much better. In addition to reading sober blogs, I also went to therapy. That helped me immensely as well. Another tool that helped me was "The Bubble Hour" Podcast. I listened to it while driving in my car. It was great! Yet another tool, was reading books about drinking...both fiction and non fiction. My favorite non fiction was "Kick the Drink Easily" by Jason Vale and "Mrs. D is Going without" by Lotta Dann. Although completely different, they both helped me a lot! My favorite fiction book was "Best kept secret" by Amy Hatvany. Even though is is fiction, and not at all like my life, it struck a chord with me. And another tool that was great was a private FB group for those in the process of quitting! (Email me if you want the info.) During the passing of my father, that group was a lifeline!
I've come a long way baby...and I couldn't have done it without you all! Thank you so much for being my support and for letting me support you! Who ever thought that blogging would bring something so wonderful to my life???
This was the year of "Soberat53" who is now 54 and sober!
(and just a sidebar....because I am no longer drinking while making dinner, I am Kicking butt at Jeopardy! Previously, I was not! Maybe all of those brain cells I killed while drinking are regenerating??? hahaha)
Love,
Sober at 53 (now 54)
Hello!
ONE YEAR!!!! I can't believe it! Today is my one year soberversary! I had to wait an extra day because last year was a leap year! 366 + bottles of wine that I did not drink!!! Wow!
I never thought I could get to this point...never! I went back and read my blog from start to this point. It made me think of all of my "firsts" this past year.
My very first 2nd day AF, my first Friday, my first weekend, my first time going out sober, my first summer, my first time being a sober wife and mother, my first vacation, my first time figuring out a problem without wine, my first time being fully present in a moment, my first birthday without wine, my first holiday season, my first time dealing with grief without a drink, my first argument, my first time making love without wine, my first time being a good friend, my first time liking myself, my first time dealing with my issues without wine, my first time being truly happy.
You can see there are both bad and good "firsts." Of course these are the "firsts" that culminated after 10 + years of drinking! I am so much happier. I am so proud of myself, because, honestly, I never thought I could quit. (I know, I'm being repetitive).
I started this journey because I wanted to lose weight...and that was my "google"...quitting wine and weight loss...it led me to an article by Julian Kirkman-Page, which led me to his book "I don't drink" which was my inspiration. That book caused me to further google and I found Sobermummy...which I attribute to me sticking with it. If her blog were a book...(and it will be soon!) it would be dog eared. Her blog led me to many other blogs that really inspired me. Mrs. D is going without, Un-Tipsy Teacher, Ainsobriety just to name a few. And many of the commenters helped me a lot as well! NorthWoman 1996, GG, Ripleybelle, Angie, HabitDone....You have all inspired me and I wish I could give you each a huge hug. (And just for the record, I didn't lose ANY weight....that is, until I changed my eating habits...it took me 7 months to do that and I am down 15 lbs. But it was work!)
My life is so much better. In addition to reading sober blogs, I also went to therapy. That helped me immensely as well. Another tool that helped me was "The Bubble Hour" Podcast. I listened to it while driving in my car. It was great! Yet another tool, was reading books about drinking...both fiction and non fiction. My favorite non fiction was "Kick the Drink Easily" by Jason Vale and "Mrs. D is Going without" by Lotta Dann. Although completely different, they both helped me a lot! My favorite fiction book was "Best kept secret" by Amy Hatvany. Even though is is fiction, and not at all like my life, it struck a chord with me. And another tool that was great was a private FB group for those in the process of quitting! (Email me if you want the info.) During the passing of my father, that group was a lifeline!
I've come a long way baby...and I couldn't have done it without you all! Thank you so much for being my support and for letting me support you! Who ever thought that blogging would bring something so wonderful to my life???
This was the year of "Soberat53" who is now 54 and sober!
(and just a sidebar....because I am no longer drinking while making dinner, I am Kicking butt at Jeopardy! Previously, I was not! Maybe all of those brain cells I killed while drinking are regenerating??? hahaha)
Love,
Sober at 53 (now 54)
Sunday, January 8, 2017
1/8/2017 - 11 months
January 8, 2017
Hello!
I haven't posted in quite some time.
I can't believe that I am 11 months sober!
I thought the summer was hard...but the holiday season proved to be the most difficult so far.
Between Thanksgiving, my birthday and Christmas....it was the first time in many many years that I did not have a drink. Honestly, I was at times sad and it was hard...I did a lot of smelling my husbands wine! But I did it!
But, the very hardest, most difficult part, was that my dear sweet father died on 12/30. I had to fly 2.5 hours away and sat by his bedside for 3 days until he finally passed. He suffered from a rare neurodegenerative brain disease PSP (Progressive Supra Nuclear Palsy) for many years, so it was freeing to see him go. BUT, the first night we were there, it took every single ounce of my being not to drink when we took a break for dinner. I mean, every ounce. It was like the first weekend of not drinking times a gazillion. I am part of a sober FB group and I reached out and they saved me. Each time I was tempted to have a drink, miraculously, a FB post would show up. It was amazing. Then, I think God was on my side. I developed a horrific cold while by my dads bedside. I felt awful. SO that really helped stop the cravings. But I have had a HUGE realization. After almost 11 months of not drinking, I still craved alcohol when the going got tough. And, I almost caved! I am so grateful that I didn't because I got to be "present in the moment" and got to witness my father's last breathe...while sober. What a gift. Had I been drinking, I most likely would've missed it.
So, the gift my father gave me in his dying moments was beautiful....during something so painful, I didn't drink to numb my feelings. I got to feel and to be there for him in a way that I couldn't had I been drinking. This gives me such strength, as it is something that I never thought I could do. When the going got really tough (and even not so tough), Mrs. Soberat53 hit the bottle.
This is has been the year of "me." I quit drinking, go to therapy to help me with all of the reasons that I did drink, have become a runner, lost 15 lbs (and not from not drinking! It took a lifestyle change!) and I am so much happier. I am no longer drowning my sorrows, numbing my feelings, picking fights with my husband or kids after a few too many wines, and am just an all around better person. I think I will continue on with the year of "me" as great things have come from it.
Peace and Love,
Sober at 53
Hello!
I haven't posted in quite some time.
I can't believe that I am 11 months sober!
I thought the summer was hard...but the holiday season proved to be the most difficult so far.
Between Thanksgiving, my birthday and Christmas....it was the first time in many many years that I did not have a drink. Honestly, I was at times sad and it was hard...I did a lot of smelling my husbands wine! But I did it!
But, the very hardest, most difficult part, was that my dear sweet father died on 12/30. I had to fly 2.5 hours away and sat by his bedside for 3 days until he finally passed. He suffered from a rare neurodegenerative brain disease PSP (Progressive Supra Nuclear Palsy) for many years, so it was freeing to see him go. BUT, the first night we were there, it took every single ounce of my being not to drink when we took a break for dinner. I mean, every ounce. It was like the first weekend of not drinking times a gazillion. I am part of a sober FB group and I reached out and they saved me. Each time I was tempted to have a drink, miraculously, a FB post would show up. It was amazing. Then, I think God was on my side. I developed a horrific cold while by my dads bedside. I felt awful. SO that really helped stop the cravings. But I have had a HUGE realization. After almost 11 months of not drinking, I still craved alcohol when the going got tough. And, I almost caved! I am so grateful that I didn't because I got to be "present in the moment" and got to witness my father's last breathe...while sober. What a gift. Had I been drinking, I most likely would've missed it.
So, the gift my father gave me in his dying moments was beautiful....during something so painful, I didn't drink to numb my feelings. I got to feel and to be there for him in a way that I couldn't had I been drinking. This gives me such strength, as it is something that I never thought I could do. When the going got really tough (and even not so tough), Mrs. Soberat53 hit the bottle.
This is has been the year of "me." I quit drinking, go to therapy to help me with all of the reasons that I did drink, have become a runner, lost 15 lbs (and not from not drinking! It took a lifestyle change!) and I am so much happier. I am no longer drowning my sorrows, numbing my feelings, picking fights with my husband or kids after a few too many wines, and am just an all around better person. I think I will continue on with the year of "me" as great things have come from it.
Peace and Love,
Sober at 53
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