Thursday, May 5, 2016

Day 88 - Vacation Pregnancy!

May 5, 2016
Day 88

Happy Cinco de Mayo...NOT!

We are in Miami for my sons college graduation tomorrow.
This is my 3rd time away since I quit drinking.
The first time was a novelty...while nervous, I was all "cheerleader like" with rooting myself on for not drinking....but I let myself smoke cigs.  I needed a reward for my good behavior!

The second time, while hard, I was with my SIL whose been sober for 5+ years so I told her about me and that gave me some ownership...and, I also let myself smoke!

This time is really really hard!  And, I am not smoking...haven't since that last vacation!  I we went for lunch to what we thought was a Brazilian restaurant.  As luck would have it, it was a Mexican restaurant and it is Cinco de Mayo!  Every single table had beautiful large margarita glasses on them...giant glasses!  Now, that was never my drink!  But I still wanted one!  Funny, how I was only a red wine drinker and now I think I would drink anything with alcohol in it!  We decided to stay because I thought I could get through it.  I asked for an AF beer and they didn't have any...the waiter told me hardly anybody asks for one so they discontinued carrying it because it took up too much space at the bar!  The stupid waiter then asked me, after our AF beer conversation, If he could get me a margarita!  Really?  WTF?  I just asked you for an AF BEER!  Why in hell would I want a margarita?!?!?!  I think that started my downward spiral! I had to go to the old standard...seltzer water.  My husband had 2 margaritas.  I was really struggling...thus, I overate and now my stomach hurts (and we have a dinner planned for tonight) and I was crabby!  Once again, I felt left out!  And I was pissed at that waiter!

We walked back to our hotel and it is gorgeous weather.  It was hard to stay upset.  On our walk back I spotted a pregnant woman.  And I thought to myself.."she's like me...she can't drink!"  So, now, when I go out to a restaurant I am just going to say I'm pregnant!!!  That should raise a few eyebrows!  I am going to have some fun with this!  I'm 53 but don't look a day over 45!  Hahaha!  And I will have my 3 kids (22, 20, 17) with me!  This is going to be fun!  I will report back with reactions!  And I'm not going to tell my kids that I'm doing this!  The look of shock they will register will be so funny!

That stupid waiter!  Now he has me resorting to a pretend pregnancy!!! I know this will get old fast but it makes me laugh to think about doing it!  Vacation pregnancy!!  Turning that negative into a positive!

I am also laughing because I keep thinking of other "creative" ways to throw off those people that are like my stupid waiter!
(And no offense to anyone who has any of these ailments!)

Sorry, I can't have alcohol because I have a bad yeast infection and alcohol makes it itch more!

Sorry, no alcoholic beverage for me!  I am using toenail fungus medication and it has an interaction with alcohol!

None for me thanks, I have a bad case of diarrhea tonight!  Oh..and can you please tell me where the ladies room is?

You get my drift!

Please send me some pretend vacation pregnancy vibes and pray I don't get a yeast infection, toenail fungus or diarrhea!

Sober at 53


  1. You're having fun with this! That's fantastic. You seriously freaked me out with your title. I say buy yourself a six pack of AF beer and carry it with you. Do whatever you need to to get through. Overrating - that's good too! And wow, no cigarettes this time! Special times call for a really big bubble of whatever you need. This helps me to get ready for the thousands of waiters in Mexico who will try to convince me to have a Corona instead of an Odouls. I'm going to need to insist that I get the bottle instead of a glass just to make sure! They just don't get it. I double dog dare you to use the diarrhea line. Such vile things coming out of your lovely mouth will surely freak them out. Have fun with this and your family!

  2. AHAHAHAHA! This cheered me up tonight, thanks!! Keep posting what you end up saying. Classic! Have a great time!

  3. Congrats on a terrific family event - and to the son!

    And congrats for taking control w a smile!! Go for it!

  4. Ha ha!
    Way to go to find humor in the not so easy situations!