Day 101
May 18, 2016
Hello!
Thank you so much for celebrating my 100 Days Sober with me y'day!!! I really appreciated all of the comments and emails!! Thank you so very much! So happy to have found this sober blog world!
That being said, this afternoon, while so happy about today, I thought to myself "I will have to celebrate with a drink tonight!" WTF? That got me thinking...is it a trigger or a craving?
The definitions:
trigger: something that causes something else to happen
craving: a powerful desire for something
I kind of always lumped them together. Today, my celebratory happiness was a trigger. Luckily, it didn't cause a craving. But, it was paralyzing! I couldn't believe it happened. And, it felt so natural! And, yes, when I realized that I don't drink, I was sad!
I wonder if a trigger always precedes a craving? Can you just have a plain old craving for wine? Does it have to be triggered by something?
I am realizing that the "triggers" are something I really have to watch out for. That trigger could lead to a craving! I am hoping, that over time, there will be little to no triggers. I guess I have to work on the triggers...can you even help them? Like today, should I not have been happy so I didn't have a trigger? What should I do instead? I can't avoid all things that may cause a trigger. Maybe you just have to recognize that a trigger is just a trigger and you don't have to act upon it. This led me to do a google search. I found an article in Psychology Today about triggers and cravings. Interestingly, it said this:
"...the simplest way to break the trigger-response connection is simply repeated exposure without the reward. As bizarre as this may seem, staying away from the triggers can make their ability to bring back the old drug-behavior stronger." Adi Jaffe, Ph.D.
So, I guess I answered one of my questions! Don't stay away from the triggers! Could that really be right? I don't know.
As I've moved along in my sobriety journey, I have found that the cravings are way less then they were when I first started, but the triggers are all still there.
So a wise word to myself:
BEWARE OF THE TRIGGERS!!! DO NOT REWARD THEM WITH WINE!
Hoping you have a trigger and craving free day!
Love,
Sober at 53
This was a great post and good way to look at the differences! I totally agree with the finding about trigger and reward. At first I was scared about trying to enjoy cocktail hour without wine. It was hard at first and I was grouchy. I couldn't figure out what to talk about and wanted to roll my eyes at what hubby talked about. Now I'm starting to enjoy cocktail hour outside again, I just assume I'm not drinking, decision done, and so it's not as much my focus. I'm also having fun with the mocktail development. I think not facing our triggers keeps us in deprivation mode and that's hard to sustain!
ReplyDeleteRight? It is impossible to avoid triggers!! Impossible! xo
DeleteI'm sure theres a difference between 'trigger' and 'craving,' but when the lonelies come calling on a friday or saturday night.....theyre one and the same!
ReplyDeleteI hear you NW!!! Who cares what it is called? When it comes, it comes!!! xo
DeleteI use 'trigger' and craving' to mean the same thing too! But now I see that they are different. Isn't it strange how being happy/celebratory can trigger us? We like the feeling and want to duplicate again and again with more and more drinks. I went headlong into triggers 24 hours into sobriety. Every school night with my boys is filled with them. And yes, the more exposure I get to them, the easier they are to navigate.
ReplyDeleteI do prefer the "happy" triggers!! If only there could be no unhappy ones!!xo
DeleteHa! I did that the other day. I have a crappy pile of paperwork to do and I immediately thought to pour self glass of wine and settle down to sorting it, then I remembered I don't drink, doh! Realised I used to treat myself to wine to do the house jobs I don't like.
ReplyDeleteSo happy to know that I am not alone!! I was worried! When will that mentality go away???? xo
DeleteMy triggers are seeing a liquor store, watching other people drink, being at a small dinner party with good drinking, friends, and sometimes reading about someone drinking.
ReplyDeleteI can't avoid some of these things, but I have learned I don't have to act on the thought.
You are doing so well!
Happy 101!!
xo
Wendy
...reading about someone drinking. True! Or those dang guzzlers on TV's Bluebloods, settling down at night with lovely, amber-hued glasses of scotch!
DeleteIn reading your post Wendy, it made me think about exactly what my triggers are. Oye vey...I have so very many! Ugh!! xo
DeleteThanks for this. It's interesting isn't it? But I don't know if you can avoid triggers. For example, a certain activity might be a trigger. But does that mean you can't do the activity anymore? I think as long as you don't act on the trigger, or reward with wine like you said, that's the main thing. Congrats on day 101! A x
ReplyDeleteToo bad we can't avoid those triggers...but then we'd probably have to be comatose! It's the "reward" process that I have to work on in my mind. So far I have been successful, but that thought of celebrating with a glass of wine really freaked me out!! xo
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