Day 55
Hello!
"If I can do it, so can you!"
I have a love/hate relationship with these words.
The love part:
When someone says those words to me, whether it be for quitting drinking, quitting smoking, running a race, losing weight....whatever....I think "wow! They think they are worse than me! They think I can do this! They have faith in me when I have NONE in myself! Maybe I can do this! They know what their struggle was and they think that my struggle would be easier! That gives me a sense of hope...well, it used to! I understand that people say those words because they are proud of themselves. I so get that! I am proud of them too and want what they have accomplished!
The hate part:
I KNOW how bad I am! I KNOW my inner struggles and turmoil. I also KNOW my strengths. What if I can't do it easier than them? What if I fail? Then that statement would make me feel even worse!
I have a dear friend that is also trying to quit drinking. I said those words to her when I first started my alcohol free journey. I said them because I honestly believed she could do it easier and better than me. They were said with love and hope. Guess what? She didn't succeed. I bet she feels even worse about her not be able to stop drinking because of those words I said to her. She keeps telling me that I am her hero. I keep telling her that she is her own hero. I know she says that I am her hero because she wants what I have (not drinking) and in her mind, and maybe rightfully so (only she knows) the struggle is harder for her.
So, I vow to never say those words to anybody again! I don't know what anybody's inner struggles are....just as nobody knows what mine are. Even though nobody says those words as a judgement, I feel that it is an indirect sort of judgement. We never know what's really going on in someone's mind so how can we determine if their journey will be easier or more difficult than ours?
Hoping you find your inner strength to accomplish what you set out to do! (Does that sound better???)
Love,
Sober at 53
This isn't the click it' topic (that was yesterday!), but I have no idea what made my effort 'click' when I impetuously decided to stop for Dry January, three months ago. But something just....did. Knew I should, needed to. Endless morning or daytime resolutions that were broken as clock neared 5. I guess theres just a point, we each reach in our own time, when something finally works. Just grateful to have gotten to where I am.....and know how very difficult it is. So more power to every one of us!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, NW! I don't use that expression either (apart from anything else, I know that I failed many times before I succeeded!) What I say instead is 'you are not alone. I, and millions of others, have been exactly where you are now, and it DOES get better.' Big hugs xxx
ReplyDeleteHi Soberat53!
ReplyDeleteReading you for first time today.
Happy 55 days!
I understand about the words. I almost said them myself recently and then thought again, and didn't.
xo
Wendy
tipsynomore.blogspot.com