Day 61 - Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS)

Day 61
April 8, 2016
Hello!
Ok, y'day I posted a "psycho" blog post.  The first part I was on a high note (the pink cloud).
The second part I was on a low note (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome - PAWS)

I rec'd an e-mail from sobermummy suggesting that I was suffering from PAWS.  I referred to her blog and sure enough it seemed like I was indeed experiencing PAWS. I was on that roller coaster that she writes about!  (If you haven't already, you should really really read her blog.  It has helped me so very much!
http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com)

Then, I called my sister in law, who went through recovery about 7 years ago and now works as a recovery counselor.  Unfortunately she lives 2000 miles away from me!  She told me that in her experience PAWS hits around day 30, 60, 90, etc. and can keep on hitting up until the 2 year mark (Oh fuck!)

I googled PAWS and there is SO MUCH info. about it.  Apparently, most people relapse during the PAWS period.  When you are first quitting, you can experience acute withdrawal syndrome.  Then, once you have the booze out of your body, you can experience post acute withdrawal syndrome.

I took this from a site I thought was informative regarding PAWS:

One of the most common symptoms of PAWS is the feeling that the individual is on an emotional rollercoaster. They might swing from feelings of happiness to despair in a matter of minutes. These intense fluctuations in mood can be quite disturbing for the individual who is not used to dealing with feelings. In the past they will have been able to turn to alcohol or drugs to escape uncomfortable emotions. Now they are left to face them and this can take a bit of getting used to.

One of the common experiences that people have in early recovery is pink cloud syndrome. This is where they go through a period of feeling exceptionally happy. The pink cloud is an enjoyable experience, but there are also some hidden dangers associated with. One problem is that people can feel so good about things that they begin to neglect the work they need to do in order to remain sober. There is also the risk when the pink cloud ends the individual will feel terribly disappointed and they will use this as an excuse to return to alcohol or drug abuse.

Here is what they say to do deal with it:

Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms do not tend to be there all the time. They come and go and most people will find that they have mostly disappeared within the first few months of recovery. The individual can help to speed the recovery process along by:

* Ensuring that they eat a balanced diet and taking nutritional supplements as prescribed by their doctor. If these symptoms are being caused by nutritional deficiencies then eating a balanced diet should help to address this.
* Exercise is not only good for physical health but also for mental well-being. It is important that people in recovery devote at least a little time each day to physical activity.
* Meditation is a wonderful tool for improving concentration and developing inner peace. Those who are dealing with PAWS can find it difficult to mediate, but they can begin by learning some simple breathing exercises.
* Those people who belong to a recovery group are likely to find that this provides them with support and advice.

* One of the important tasks for early recovery is for people to develop skills for dealing with stress. A good reason for attending rehab is that it gives the individual a head start in developing such coping mechanisms.
* It is important that those who are dealing with PAWS realize that these symptoms will almost certainly disappear once they are established in recovery.

These are the symptoms:
 Fuzzy thinking (AKA brain fog)
* Inability to concentrate
* Problems with memory
* Inability to develop a normal sleep pattern
* Repetitive thinking
* Emotions that feel out of control
* Difficulties managing stress
* Problems with coordination
* Feelings of depression
* Feelings of anxiety
* The individual may feel like they lack initiative
* Cravings
* Feeling tired all the time
* Difficulty experiencing pleasure – this is also referred to as anhedonia
* Problems getting along with other people
* Obsessive compulsive disorder
* Feelings of guilt
Here is the full website if you want more info.  I liked it because it was short and sweet:
http://alcoholrehab.com/addiction-recovery/post-acute-withdrawal-symptoms/

So, I am not a a raving lunatic.  I am suffering from PAWS.  My SIL said it can last for days!  Oh joy!
Thank you again sobermummy for pointing this out.  Knowing what I am experiencing and realizing that it's part of the journey can help me not go back to the bottle!

So, what did I do to make myself feel better:
Well, I booked a massage for this evening.  And, please don't shoot me, I bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked one!  (I only smoke when I'm super stressed it seems….I am working on that!)

I am also very thankful that this is a real thing and not my new non drinking personality!!!

Now that I am fully aware of PAWS, I will have a plan in place so that I can deal with it better than I have today…and that plan will not include smoking!

I went for that massage.  I am a massage junky!  I just love them. They are one of my favorite things.  You know what I did through my hour massage?  I cried!  and I couldn't stop!  And, the massage place was next to a liquor store!  But, I didn't go in.  I realize that I am just experiencing what I really brought on myself (PAWS) by having drank so much!  I WILL GET THRU THIS!

I do wonder…does everyone who quits drinking experience PAWS or am I just one of the unlucky ones?  Ugh!

Hoping you make an action plan in case PAWS hits you!

Love,
Sober at 53