Thursday, April 7, 2016

Day 60!!!! Happy and Sad/Angry/Pissed

April 7, 2016
Day 60
Hello!
I have nothing to post today except that today is DAY 60!!!!  I NEVER thought that I could do this!  I am actually in awe of myself!  I quit something that was ingrained in my life!  I lost my best friend…WINE!  Or so I thought!  Good self esteem is my new best friend!

Was it hard to quit?  Hell ya, and it still is!!!  I am learning to deal with my emotions that I ensconced in wine over the last 10 years plus!  I am learning a new way to "be."  Sometimes, I don't know what to do with myself!  I read a lot of books and blogs about living alcohol free!

One thing I will say today, is that if you come across this blog post and you yourself want to get to Day 60 (I just love saying Day 60…there!  I said it again!)  read Jason Vale's book "Quit the Drink….easily."  Soooo many bloggers recommend this book.  They all must've gotten something out of it!  It is such a different way of thinking about quitting drinking…for me, and I think for a lot of the other bloggers who recommend it, it has really really helped.  It seems so simple.  I HIGHLY recommend it.  It will help you to get to Day 60!

So Congratulations to me!  I can't believe it!  This motivates me to keep going!  I love the milestones!  I just hope this journey doesn't get any harder!!!  I think my honeymoon phase is over!  (Yikes!)

Hoping you get to Day 60 and beyond!

Ok..so I wrote the above in the morning!  I was flying high!  So I thought it would be a good day to take my measurements.  The last time I took them was on Feb 26th.  Guess what?????????  NO F'ing CHANGE!!!!  WTF???  What did I do?  I cried and contemplated digging into the leftover Easter candy!   I have been pretty good with my diet (last week i was on vacation so it was free for all…but altogether…not that bad..no wine!).  So, my "honeymoon phase" is definitely over!!!  I always thought that if I could quit drinking I would lose weight!  I guess not!  Now, I am at the high end of the normal BMI range for my height.  I would so like to be in the middle of that range! When I was drinking, maybe I subconsciously didn't eat a lot and saved my calories for wine?  Maybe the wine dehydrated me so I have a lot of catching up to do now?  I don't know!  I am sad, angry and so pissed!  The weight loss was my goal…and 60 days and NOTHING!!  Aaaaaargh!!!!!  And I exercise like an animal!  I do bootcamp 4 days a week and I do some sort of flexibility class 2 other days, and run when I can!  Is there such a thing as too much exercise for weight loss?  I highly doubt it!  I am thru menopause…have been for 11 years.  So that's not it!  I have been following Weight Watchers, albeit loosely.  OMG..I am so depressed about this!  And yes, this has produced a wine craving!!!  I just want to climb in the bottle!  I thought by quitting, in addition to the mental change I would also be getting an "outward" physiological change. No such luck!  It is making this journey even harder for me than it already is!  I know, I know, good things are happening inside of my body from being alcohol free (at least I hope so!) But I am vain!  I want the outside changes as well….and fast!  Damn, Damn, Damn!!!!  Even my "Happy" Playlist is not gonna get me out of this funk..sigh.


Love,
Sober at 53

7 comments:

  1. HUGE congrats on day 60! Awesome work! And please DO NOT worry about the weight. I lost zilch for 100 days, then it just started falling off, and still is. Lots of people say the same. You're amazing! Xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you sober mummy! I hope the weight will one day come off! Thank you for ALL of your help! xo

      Delete
  2. Hi. I'm new here but wanted to congratulate you on 60 days! I'm on another day 2. :-) As for the weight loss, it sounds like you are doing everything right. Keep it up for a while longer. I do believe you will start to see change. It came off so much easier when we were younger! I'm 47 and work out pretty much every day. I'm stuck as far as the weight loss. I'm hoping not drinking will help. Hang in there. Keep pressing on. And keep writing! Thanks for sharing your journey. I'm looking forward to reading more. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you sobertaichi. I really appreciate your comment. You keep going! You can do this! I know it's really hard. Did you read Jason Vale's book "Quit the Drink…easily?" It is really helpful. It changes how you think about not drinking. Also, know that I am here for you! Misery does love company! hahaha

      Delete
  3. Way to go on 60 Days!
    I know I didn't see many outward changes for myself, but other people saw them.
    Weight is tricky. I lost a few pounds, but not many.
    However, the peace of mind of not drinking made all the difference for me.
    xo
    Wendy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Wendy! After I read your post today, I tried hard to channel that "peace of mind of not drinking" that you said made a difference for you! I have to keep reminding myself of that!!! xo

      Delete
  4. Ohhhhhh!! Wooo hoooo on the Day 60! How huge that is! You have a right to be veryveryVERY proud of yourself!!

    But humbug! on the lack of weight loss! It does HAVE to come tho...eventually. I was cheered and encouraged to see SM say it was a 100 days before she saw those changes. Just different for each of us, I guess. My early day hurdles were tremendous fatigue and a couple weeks of annoying hypoglycemia, both of which seem to have sorted themselves out.

    Do hang in there!! You are doing such a good-good thing -- for your kids and your spouse and your health. Let's hear it for healthy, poison- free bodies!! And for satisfying, non-hangover wakeups. Every day!!

    ReplyDelete