April 9, 2016
Day 62
Hello!
I was doing some research on PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome) and I came across the term "dry drunk." I have heard of dry drunk before but I didn't really know what it meant. This is the definition:
Dry drunk is a slang expression infamously known in the sober community. It describes a person who no longer drinks or abuses drugs, but continues to behave in dysfunctional ways.
I see how it is connected to PAWS. If I don't start to deal with the emotions that I have cut off while drinking, I become a Dry Drunk. It is so important to really deal with those emotions. My analogy of Dry Drunk is someone who doesn't drink but is still white knuckling it. I know in the early stages of quitting drinking there is a TON of white knuckling. At least there was for me. But now that I am on Day 62, I have to think…should I still be white knuckling it? And I think some days I am doing just that. Day 60 was one of those days! But it seems that it was also a PAWS day. So, does someone who white knuckles it all of the time have PAWS all of the time? I don't want to find out. This gives me resolve to really deal with my emotions.
In my blog y'day, I said I smoked a cigarette. In my mind, that was behaving in a dysfunctional way as I am not a regular smoker…the white knuckling (PAWS) took me down! My typical behavior 62 days ago would've been to drink! So I am a dry drunk…at least I was y'day. Don't worry..I threw the cigarettes out! I can't keep doing this every time I get stressed! I have to keep dealing with those emotions!
Hoping you are not "white knuckling" it today!
Love,
Sober at 53
Al I know is this...I have to keep learning and growing is so many areas in sobriety, or else I will go back to my old ways of coping or old thinking patterns.
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Wendy