Day 24 - I don't drink!

March 1, 2016
Day 24
Hello!

I am getting reading to go away to sunny Florida next weekend.  Me thinks I need a bikini wax!  It is not something I do regularly because it hurts like a mother f'er!  But, I rationalized, that maybe it always hurt because my body was always in a hungover state the previous times I went.  But, now i'm alcohol free for 24 days!  I can do this!!  I make an appointment at a swanky spa and I am even getting a massage afterwards to relax me from the stress of the painful bikini wax that I will have endured!  (for me massage is like wine…I can always find an excuse to have one!)

Well, I grit my teeth and make it thru the bikini wax (no, not a Brazilian :))  I realize that I need a lip wax, which I get regularly at the nail salon.  But, hey, I'm here, and I can save myself a trip.  I ask the technician if she had time to do one and she said yes.  BUT, she said, your face is very red (oops…from too much drinking?  I look like a drunk?  I know I have rosacea and I always thought that is why my face was red…(another thing I talk myself into?))  So, I tell her that I have rosacea, but I feel I look like a drunk, WC Fields look alike??  hahaha  I then say to her,,'I DON'T DRINK" so it really is rosacea.  That was the VERY FIRST TIME I ever said it.  Trust me, it did not roll off my tongue easily.  I felt like an impostor.  It was almost a surreal experience in which I was outside of my body looking down at myself.  It felt very uncomfortable.  I really needed that massage..or a drink!  I opted for the massage.

The rest of the day I kept mulling over my statement..I DON'T DRINK.  And I realized…I DON'T DRINK!  It took all day, but now I feel empowered.  The words were probably meaningless to the woman that was my torturer (waxing technician) but to me they were probably the most meaningful words I have said in a very long time.

Wishing you meaning in your day!
Love,
Sober at 53