March 18, 2016
Day 40
Hello!
It's Friday night and I am home alone! Nobody but me! I could drink and nobody would be any the wiser. It would just be between me and the cabernet. You see, I do drink socially, but how much I drink is my dirty little secret. I drink at home. I have never been arrested, pulled over, blacked out. Nothing has happened to me that was a game changer due to my drinking. Or has it? Is my liver pickled? (i do get liver function tests every year and they are good…so far!) Is a cancer from alcohol brewing? Are other physical things happening within my body that I am not aware of? I sure hope I stopped before it was too late.
But you know what did happen? I think that I have hurt people. I really do. Because I have no filter when drinking, things just come out. I have "righteous indignation." I am always the "victim." For years I've blamed relationship flaws on the other person…never me. My righteous indignation! I think that I have made people unnecessarily suffer because I just think I'm always right.
Well, tonight, I am calling a good friend who I think I put in that situation. I never really speak to her without booze in my system. It just works out that we speak at night. Tonight, I was a good listener. I really enjoyed the conversation. I wasn't filled with righteous indignation. I was just me. I hung up happy. Time to fix what me and my wine broke!
So take that wine! I didn't give into you (although I wanted to desperately!) And I had a lovely conversation with a friend!!!
Call a friend tonight!
Love,
Sober at 53
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