Day 36
Hello!
Well, today is my first visit to the therapist. Mind you, I had gone a few years back when I was having issues with my mother. I hadn't been in 1.5 years. So at least I didn't have to start from scratch. I imagine she read her notes on me as a very boring refresher for herself. I am excited to go as this therapist is GREAT! I got lucky in finding her! As I'm driving there I think of all of the things I need to work on:
- Not drinking
- Not smoking
- Not being a crazy lunatic mother sick with worry
- Not being boring
- Not liking myself
I don't think this can all be sorted out in one appointment. I am doing okay with the not drinking. In fact, when I pull into the parking lot I had to figure out how many days I have been alcohol free. It's a good thing to forget! So, I pick the "not smoking" and "not being a crazy lunatic mother."
What the therapist suggested was that I use the same strategies that I am using for not drinking for not smoking. She recommended that I get a key chain with a set of lungs on them (remember I have my "anchor"…my keychain with the weight for my drinking) But I decide that employing all of those strategies would spread my willpower too thin. I don't usually smoke, but have found myself on occasions doing so. So, we talk about wellbuterin to stop the urges. We will talk about it again next week (yes, I am weekly……a lot to work on!).
Next, we talk about my crazy mind the night Son #2 went out for his b'day. The therapist gave me this GREAT mantra to use when I get crazy over my kids:
Explain to them ONCE what you feel and then repeat to yourself:
I can't predict what will happen
i can't control or prevent what will happen
But whatever happens, I will do my best to deal with it!
This made perfect sense to me! I felt such relief. I just might be able to knock #3 off my list!
Here's to figuring out your "working on" list!
Love,
Sober at 53
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