Day 28 - Mr. Soberat53

March 5, 2016

Day 28

Hello!

Yes! Yes! Yes!  I threw the cigarettes away!  They are not hanging over my head now..whew!  Today, Mr. Soberat53 and I have the day to ourselves.  The kids are all off together.  It is overcast out, so we decide to walk all around the town.  There is a lot to see.  It starts off lovely.  A beautiful walk on the water.  Great conversation.  Love is in the air!!!!

We decide to venture outside our little island we are staying on and walk over the bridge with many other pedestrians.  It was so nice!  We get to the other side of the bridge, and there, along the water are many BEAUTIFUL outdoor bars…Just my kind of thing!  The old me would've dragged Mr. Soberat53 right into one and there we would've planted ourselves and merrily partied on!  But, I don't drink.  So we didn't do that.  Both Mr. Soberat53 and I were both sad.  We always seem to have great conversations while we are sharing a bottle of wine.  I asked Mr. Soberat53 if he missed his drinking partner…fully expecting him to say "No!  You go girl…I am so proud of you for recognized you had a problem and doing something about it!"  Instead, I got "Yes!  I miss you not drinking…but I am so proud of you!"  Well, I had to ask!  I felt so badly that I was taking away something he enjoyed…safely, as opposed to me!  I even offered to sit there while he had a few drinks, but Mr. Soberat53 is the kindest man in the world and he would never put me through that.  But, as we continued to explore, I was sad in my heart all whilst struggling with not drinking as everywhere we went was geared towards booze!  

So, what did I do?

Yep, I bought another pack of smokes.  What I am saving in wine I am making up in smokes!  All I have to say is "Fuck me!"

I guess I drink/smoke to make myself feel better due to my emotions?  Although drinking certainly was used as celebratory too!

Wishing you an alcohol and smoke free day as you deal with your emotions.

Love,

Sober at 53