March 15, 2016
Day 37
Hello!
Well, I am put to the test!
Son #1 was not feeling well. He goes to college far away. I told him I would call him back around 9pm. So I call…15 times (remember…I'm still working on being a crazy lunatic mother…it will take time!) I text him a gazillion times. He is home alone as it is Spring Break and his two housemates are away! I feel like a fool, but I texted his girlfriend, who lives in a different state than Son #1. She was the voice of calm..she said that they were texting and then he just stopped. She assumed he fell asleep because he wasn't feeling well. I assumed he was dead. How can she not be concerned like I am? She loves him too! In hindsight, I guess it's because she's not a crazy lunatic like me! She is rational! I want a drink…badly!!! I try to wake up Mr. Soberat53 but he is in the sleep daze and keeps falling back to sleep while I was explaining my irrational fear. So, again, ZERO help!
So, there was nothing I could do. He was either asleep or dead. I wasn't going to find out tonight! t rolled the mantra over and over in my mind and was able to fall asleep.
I can't predict what will happen
i can't control or prevent what will happen
But whatever happens, I will do my best to deal with it! REPEAT..a Gazillion times!
I eventually fell asleep. And guess what? That is what Son #1 did too. He's alive and kicking. As I even write this I see the pendulum swing from his rational girlfriends common sense to his crazy lunatic mothers irrational fears!
So, therapy is working! I used the mantra. While I did have a little "crazy town" in there (calling Son#1 15 times and texting the girlfriend and waking up Mr. Soberat53) I made it through…and I didn't drink.
Stress makes me want to drink. I guess I want to drown out my feelings because they are so powerful. Instead, I have to learn other tools to calm my self down. The mantra is a good tool for me.
Hoping you find the tools that you need to get through the day!
Love,
Sober at 53
I eventually fell asleep. And guess what? That is what Son #1 did too. He's alive and kicking. As I even write this I see the pendulum swing from his rational girlfriends common sense to his crazy lunatic mothers irrational fears!
So, therapy is working! I used the mantra. While I did have a little "crazy town" in there (calling Son#1 15 times and texting the girlfriend and waking up Mr. Soberat53) I made it through…and I didn't drink.
Stress makes me want to drink. I guess I want to drown out my feelings because they are so powerful. Instead, I have to learn other tools to calm my self down. The mantra is a good tool for me.
Hoping you find the tools that you need to get through the day!
Love,
Sober at 53
No comments:
Post a Comment