Day 5
Hello!
This is not my first time trying to quit. I have tried to quit drinking before, rather unsuccessfully. I participated in an 8 week study of women who want to quit drinking at a state college. It was an hour a way and I had to hire a babysitter for my kids. I did the program. I did not quit drinking, but the stress from it made me take up my old habit of smoking (and I thought it was justifiable…WHAT????). So now, I was a drinker and a smoker. I was lower than low. I didn't think my self-loathing could get worse than it already was…I was wrong. So, that habit lasted about a summer, and then every time I tried to quit drinking I would smoke. I replaced one bad habit with a worse bad habit! (Just for the record, I am smoke free..and now 5 days alcohol free..Woohoo!). After that program was unsuccessful, I went to a psychiatrist, got put on prozac and wellbutrin to try and help. (I am an all or nothing girl and I was convinced that if I could just NOT have one drink then I would be okay…an OCD thing). Guess what? Didn't work! And, I think the effects of the prozac intensified the alcohol (maybe it was just my obsessing on taking prozac with wine was intensified?) So, I read a book on "The Sinclair Method" and determined that naltrexone was the drug for me. I FOUND A CURE!
According to Wikipedia, this is the prescribed usage of naltrexone:
The main use of naltrexone is for the treatment of alcohol dependence. Naltrexone has been shown to decrease heavy drinking.[2] The evidence for bringing about no drinking is less clear.[3]
The combination of drinking and naltrexone is known as the The Sinclair Method.[3][4] Research suggests that individuals receiving naltrexone in combination with supportive therapy and abstinence see no benefit from the administration of naltrexone versus placebo. Instead the research suggests that continuing to drink while naltrexone is administered results in an extinction mechanism that is much stronger compared to administration of naltrexone with abstinence.
In addition to taking the "nal" (as I called it) you were to record in a journal how many drinks you had a day. I cut down! Some days I was even AF! But I was obsessed in thinking about drinking. Plus, the "nal" gave me vivid nightmares. I don't even remember my dreams (probably because of the wine!) So..I was doing really well….until I was not! When you take naltrexone you need to get your liver functions tested before you start and every 6 months thereafter. Mine remained fine. But, now, I am drinking and taking the naltrexone! And, I've thrown in a cigarette every now and then for stress relief. Yes…again, lower and lower I fall. I really didn't know how low one could go! But, I keep finding out! So, I go off the naltrexone. I am back to my bottle of wine per day and I'm once again not smoking. Self loathing is in full force….ten fold!!!
Wishing you a successful endeavor with quitting the drink!
Love,
Sober at 53
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